As a surrogate, there are many benefits to working with a qualified agency like Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions, and it begins with the matching process. Our team is committed to ensuring you are paired with intended parents (IPs) who are a great fit for you and your family. To help facilitate a successful match, both surrogates and IPs are asked to complete a detailed profile that includes information about their family, their values, their interests, and their desires for the kind of relationship they want to have throughout the surrogacy journey and beyond.
Once you have completed your profile, you will meet with a member of our Surrogate Education & Matching Team to discuss the match criteria in more detail. Lauren has been with Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions since 2010 and is the Surrogate Matching & Education Director for the agency. “We meet with every surrogate and IP who enters our program,” Lauren says. “We discuss what they are looking for in their journey and what is most important to them.”
The need for qualified surrogates has never been greater as there are nearly double the number of IPs waiting to be matched as there are surrogates available. For this reason, surrogates are shown the IPs’ profiles first.
“Because our process is so thorough, I’m able to hand-pick the IP profiles that are shown to each surrogate,” Lauren says. “Sometimes surrogates are given a few profiles to choose from, and other times I just know who the right match will be based on my conversations with both parties.”
Below are three important considerations to keep in mind during the match process.
1. What are your views on issues such as selective reduction, termination, and vaccines?
These are considered “deal-breaker issues” where your views and the IP’s views must be in alignment to have a successful match. For example, some surrogates feel strongly about termination and are not willing to terminate a pregnancy for any reason, including if the pregnancy is determined to be incompatible with life. In a situation like this, Lauren advises surrogates to remain true to their beliefs. “Surrogacy is about joy and you getting to do this amazing thing for someone else,” she explains. “Don’t compromise your values and beliefs because you think you won’t get matched. Let me match you with someone who is never going to ask you to terminate.”
2. What type of family do you want to carry for?
Some gestational carriers have specific preferences regarding the type of IPs whose families they want to help create. Many surrogates want to help first-time parents while others are open to working with IPs who are trying to expand their family.
“First-time parents always match the quickest, but we have a lot of IPs who want to add to or complete their families,” Lauren says. “Sometimes surrogates are very open and will ask who has been waiting for the longest and why?” For some surrogates, it’s important that the IPs observe the same religion or that they are located close to the surrogate and her family, so she doesn’t have to travel. In addition, some surrogates have a preference for helping straight couples or same-sex couples.
3. What kind of relationship do you hope to have with the Intended Parents?
Once you are matched with IPs, the surrogacy journey can still take more than year to complete. And in the best-case scenario, you and your IPs will have built a friendship that will continue for many years. It’s important to consider things like how frequently you want to communicate with the IPs during the pregnancy if you want them to attend medical appointments and want them in the room for the birth, and what kind of support you can offer one another.
It takes three “yeses” to make a match
Once you have chosen IPs based on their profile, the IPs will be shown your profile. If both parties agree, the next step is to send your medical records to the IPs’ physician for approval. “It takes three yeses to make a successful match – the surrogate, the IPs, and their physician,” Lauren explains.
If the physician approves, Lauren will arrange a match meeting via Zoom for you and partner with the IPs. The goal of the meeting is for everyone to get to know each other on a more personal level and determine if you truly want to move forward in the journey together.
Getting to know your IPs
Once a successful match has been made, you and the IPs can start building your relationship.
“I encourage both surrogates and IPs to only focus on the warm and fuzzies as they are getting to know one another,” Lauren says. “Don’t talk about finances or legal issues. If anything makes you uncomfortable, let your coordinator know so she can address it. That’s what we’re here for – to handle the details so you can concentrate on your relationship with the IPs.”
Are you interested in becoming a surrogate and helping IPs create their happy family? We would be honored to guide and support you through the process.