Like many surrogates, Ilona was first drawn to the idea of being a gestational carrier because she had a close friend who was struggling to have a baby. Ilona offered to be a surrogate for her friend and began researching agencies. She found Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions and began the application process, but ultimately her friend decided to pursue adoption instead.
About a year after Ilona filled out the application, the agency reached out to see if she was still interested in being a surrogate. “I thought you had to bring both parties [surrogate and intended parents] to the table together; I had no idea you can be a surrogate for a stranger, “Ilona says. “I learned, at the time, there were more than 70 IPs waiting to be matched with a surrogate. The more I learned, the more I knew it was something I wanted to do.”
Ilona reviewed several profiles of IPs, but when she came across Karen and Thomas’ profile, she felt like she’d found the right couple. “They had been trying to have a baby for many years,” Ilona says. “They were very genuine about everything they had been through. I felt like I knew them from their profile.”
A virtual meeting with Ilona and her husband, Zach, and Karen and Thomas confirmed they had found the right match, and everyone was excited to move forward.
Including the IPs in the pregnancy Ilona and Zach live in Oklahoma with their daughter, Remi, while Karen and Thomas are based in Arizona, so much of the communication during Ilona’s pregnancy happened virtually. Ilona kept them updated via phone and text, and Karen and Thomas were on FaceTime for every appointment when they couldn’t attend in person.
One of the most difficult things about the surrogacy journey for many IPs is relinquishing control and trusting another woman to carry their child. Ilona understood this and wanted Karen and Thomas to feel included in the pregnancy as much as possible.
“It’s hard to fathom what IPs go through when I’ve never had anything bad happen with a pregnancy. Through this journey, I realized how blessed I really am to be able to carry a healthy baby,” she explains. I spent most of my journey focused on how to make Karen and Thomas feel like this was also their pregnancy. I wanted to make this time as special and amazing as I could for them.”
From Karen’s point of view, the communication between her and Ilona and the relationship they developed during the pregnancy couldn’t have been better. “We talked almost every day, and she would tell me how she was feeling and what changes were going on in her body,” Karen says. “Ilona knew pregnancy was something I wasn’t going to get to experience, so she wanted me to know what she was feeling and what she was going through physically and emotionally.”
The moment that made it all worth it
The delivery day came sooner than expected. When Ilona went in for a check-up at 36 and a half weeks, the baby was already measuring eight pounds, and her doctor was concerned about the potential for meconium in the amniotic fluid if the pregnancy continued. Given that the baby was perfectly healthy, Ilona’s physician recommended an induction at 37 weeks.
Karen and Thomas rearranged their travel plans to get to Oklahoma quickly, and on Nov. 1, Ilona delivered their son, Peter. The gender was a surprise as Karen and Thomas had opted not to find out during Ilona’s pregnancy.
Zach took photos during the delivery and captured what Ilona says is her favorite moment from the entire surrogacy journey. “I knew there was going to be a moment when I would see Karen with her child, and I would know this is why I became a surrogate,” Ilona shares. “Zach took a photo of Peter right after he was delivered, and they placed him on my stomach. You can’t see me; you just see Karen looking at her son. I tear up every time I see the photo because I can feel that moment. She’s looking at him like, ‘there he is – there’s my baby.’ It’s my favorite moment and my favorite photo from the whole experience.”
Forever friends When asked if she is considering a second journey, Ilona says she’s leaving it open-ended and will know when the time is right if she feels called to be a surrogate for a second time. “Right now, I’m fulfilled with knowing Karen and Thomas are getting to experience parenthood, and I’m enjoying my time with my family and sweet girl, Remi.”
Ilona says that her surrogacy experience was amazing and credits Surrogate Solutions for everything running smoothly. “My coordinator got a promotion mid journey, and I was so sad to lose her, but I was very thankful that my new coordinator was also amazing and finished out our journey without skipping a beat! I will always refer anyone who has an interest in being a surrogate or egg donor to only use Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions. It was nice to have everything explained so thoroughly, which helped me feel confident with the whole journey.”
As for the relationship she and her family have built with Karen and Thomas, Ilona says, “We’ll be friends forever. They have been amazing about sharing pictures [of baby Peter] with me, and I just love getting them.”
Thomas adds that the best part of the journey from his and Karen’s perspective has been their relationship with Ilona and Zach. “They were so optimistic and confident this would work for us,” he says. “Everything went well, and Ilona was very open and honest throughout the pregnancy. We got smiled upon when she came into our lives.”
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