Egg donation and surrogacy can help make parenthood possible for people who might not otherwise have the opportunity to build a family. Yet, despite how meaningful these experiences can be, there are still plenty of misconceptions about what they involve, who can participate, and what the journey is really like.
Some of these myths come from a lack of information. Others come from well-meaning friends and family who have questions of their own. And sometimes, a quick search online can leave you with more questions than answers.
At Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions (ED&SS), we believe informed decisions start with honest conversations, clear expectations, and the freedom to ask questions without pressure.
Whether you’re considering becoming an egg donor, exploring surrogacy, or simply curious about how these journeys work, let’s separate some common myths from the realities.
Surrogacy Myths: What You Should Know Before You Begin
Myth #1: The baby is biologically related to the surrogate.
The truth: In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate does not have a genetic connection to the baby.
Gestational surrogacy involves transferring an embryo created through in vitro fertilization (IVF) into the surrogate’s uterus. The egg and sperm come from the intended parents, donors, or a combination of these sources.
The surrogate carries the pregnancy and gives birth, but she is not contributing the egg that creates the embryo. Understanding this distinction can help address one of the most common concerns about surrogacy: the idea that a surrogate is carrying a baby who is genetically her own.
Myth #2: Becoming a surrogate means “giving up a baby”.
The truth: Gestational surrogacy is about helping someone else become a parent, not relinquishing a child you intended to raise.
Many surrogates describe the moment intended parents meet their baby as one of the most meaningful parts of the experience. The reality is that surrogacy begins with a different intention. Surrogates enter the process knowing they are carrying a pregnancy for another family.
Every person’s experience is unique, and it’s important to give yourself space to consider the emotional aspects of the journey. But for many surrogates, the opportunity to help intended parents experience the joy of holding their child for the first time is a powerful source of fulfillment.
Myth #3: Surrogates have no say in who they are matched with.
The truth: A good matching process considers the preferences, expectations, and comfort of both the surrogate and the intended parents.
Matching should never feel like someone else is making a life-changing decision on your behalf. Your preferences matter, including the types of families you feel comfortable helping, your expectations for communication, and your views on important pregnancy-related decisions.
At ED&SS, our matching team works to connect surrogates with intended parents whose preferences align with their own. That includes discussing topics such as vaccination, pregnancy termination, and the types of families a surrogate is comfortable serving.
You deserve the opportunity to ask questions, get to know a prospective match, and decide whether the relationship feels right before moving forward.
Myth #4: Surrogates are paid an astronomical amount of money for carrying a baby.
The truth: Surrogacy compensation recognizes the time, commitment, and physical demands involved in carrying a pregnancy.
At ED&SS, you choose a competitive base compensation that feels right for you. This can range upwards of $60,000 for first-time Surrogates and $70,000+ for those who have been a Surrogate before (plus added benefits that can bring your total up to $100,000.)
We prioritize your financial security and peace of mind. To ensure this, we provide a legally binding gestational agreement as well as partner with SeedTrust, a trusted third party escrow agency for payment security, timely payouts, and comprehensive medical bill coverage. Learn more about SeedTrust here.
However, many surrogates are motivated by more than financial compensation. They want to help someone who has experienced infertility or other barriers to parenthood. They understand that their participation can have a lasting impact on an entire family.
As with any major commitment, it’s important to consider your motivations, responsibilities, and personal circumstances. Surrogacy requires time, medical appointments, flexibility, and emotional investment. It should be a decision you feel good about for reasons that extend beyond the financial benefits.
Myth #5: You can’t become a surrogate if you’ve had your tubes tied or delivered a baby by C-section.
The truth: Neither having your tubes tied nor having had a previous C-section automatically disqualifies you from becoming a surrogate.
Because gestational surrogacy uses IVF, fallopian tubes are not required for an embryo transfer. Having your tubes tied does not, by itself, prevent you from carrying a pregnancy.
Similarly, a history of C-section deliveries does not automatically rule out surrogacy. Your eligibility depends on your individual medical and pregnancy history, along with the applicable program requirements.
A healthy uterus and an appropriate medical history are important considerations, but eligibility should be evaluated individually rather than determined by one factor alone.
If you’ve wondered whether your reproductive history makes surrogacy impossible, don’t assume the answer is no. A conversation with a qualified professional can help you understand your options.
Myth #6: You have to work with a surrogacy agency in your state.
The truth: You don’t necessarily need a local agency to have a supportive surrogacy experience.
Technology makes it possible to maintain consistent communication with your coordinator, ask questions, and receive guidance even when you’re in different parts of the country.
ED&SS works with surrogates and intended parents across the United States. If geographic distance is important to you, that preference can be considered during the matching process.
What matters most is finding an agency that communicates well, respects your preferences, and helps you feel informed and supported throughout the journey.
Egg Donation Myths: Understanding the Process
Myth #1: You have to have children of your own to become an egg donor.
The truth: You do not need to have children to become an egg donor.
Egg donation eligibility is based on program criteria and individual medical and personal considerations, not simply whether you’ve already become a parent.
In an episode of the Create A Happy Family podcast, egg donors Jaleen Haslem and Shevaun Valenzuela shared their experiences with the process. Neither described parenthood as a prerequisite for making the decision to donate.
Their stories also highlight how different each donor’s motivations can be. For them, helping another person or couple build a family became a deeply meaningful experience.
If you are interested in egg donation but don’t plan to have children yourself, that doesn’t automatically mean the opportunity is closed to you. Learning about the eligibility requirements is a good place to start.
Myth #2: Donating eggs means you won’t be able to have children of your own later.
The truth: Egg donation does not automatically mean you’ll have difficulty getting pregnant in the future.
Part of the confusion comes from how people understand the body’s natural egg supply. During an egg donation cycle, fertility medications stimulate the ovaries to mature multiple eggs for retrieval. The process is designed to collect eggs that develop during that cycle; it does not involve removing all of a person’s eggs. Our podcast episode with Dr. Dara Havemann shares a very helpful analogy!
However, no medical procedure is entirely without risk, and individual circumstances matter. Your fertility specialist should explain the potential risks of ovarian stimulation and egg retrieval, including any uncertainties about long-term reproductive outcomes, so you can make an informed decision.
If future fertility is a concern, bring it up early in the process. You deserve clear, individualized medical guidance rather than reassurance based on assumptions.
Myth #3: Egg retrieval is major surgery.
The truth: Egg retrieval is generally a brief outpatient procedure performed under sedation, but it is still a medical procedure that requires preparation and recovery.
The process involves more than simply arriving at a clinic and leaving with compensation. Donors typically undergo screening, take prescribed fertility medications, attend monitoring appointments, and follow specific medical instructions leading up to retrieval.
Recovery varies from person to person, and your fertility team should explain what is normal, what symptoms require medical attention, and when you can return to your usual activities.
Myth #4: Egg donation is just a quick way to make money.
The truth: Compensation is one consideration, but egg donation requires a meaningful investment of time, preparation, and commitment.
In the podcast, Jaleen described initially hearing about egg donation as a way to earn money before researching the process more thoroughly. As she learned about the experiences of intended parents and the reasons people turn to donor eggs, her perspective changed.
She went on to complete six donations, describing the experience as one of the most rewarding things she had done. She and Shevaun spoke about the sense of fulfillment they felt when learning that intended parents had become pregnant or welcomed children.
Their experiences demonstrate why it’s important to understand the full process before deciding whether egg donation is right for you.
At Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions, Egg Donors receive $10,000 – $15,000 for their time and commitment to the donation process, depending on Egg Donor experience. But while financial compensation is part of the arrangement, the commitment also involves medical appointments, medication, time away from normal activities when needed, and a willingness to participate responsibly throughout the cycle.
Myth #5: Egg donors become the legal parents of the children conceived using their eggs.
The truth: Egg donation arrangements are designed to establish the intended parents’ legal parentage through appropriate legal agreements.
Donating eggs does not mean you are agreeing to raise a child. The purpose of the arrangement is to help intended parents conceive using donor eggs, with the legal responsibilities and expectations addressed through the appropriate documentation.
Because laws and circumstances can vary, legal parentage and donor rights should be explained by qualified legal professionals as part of the process. Before committing, make sure you understand the agreements you are being asked to sign, how donor information may be handled, and what expectations apply to your specific arrangement.
Myth #6: Egg donors don’t need to worry about the emotional side of the experience.
The truth: Egg donation can be rewarding, but it is still a personal decision that deserves thoughtful consideration.
Not every donor will have the same feelings or experiences. Some may feel excited, others may have questions or concerns, and many may experience a mixture of emotions.
Taking time to reflect, asking questions, and having access to appropriate support can help you feel more prepared. You don’t need to have every answer before exploring egg donation, but you should feel empowered to make your decision without pressure.
Our podcast episode, What You Should Know Before Becoming An Egg Donor, featuring psychotherapists Kristin Maljean and Leslee Murphy, is a great resource in helping prepare egg donors for both the process in front of them and the future implications of their decision.
Myth #7: Egg Donation is fully anonymous
The truth: In 2026, full anonymity no longer exists.
Many agencies, clinics, and egg banks will frequently use the word “anonymous” when discussing their Egg Donor program. We will not. With new DNA testing, technical advances, and facial recognition, we cannot guarantee your anonymity and consequently feel we have an obligation to inform you of the opposite. In new research, 78% of donor-conceived children found their donor via DNA testing. We believe that percentage will only increase as the popularity of these kinds of tests increases.
At ED&SS, we offer three types of egg donation cycles: Identified, Identified with ID Release, and Unidentified.
In an Identified Cycle, Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions will release the intended parent’s and the Egg Donor’s full legal names after the Donor Preliminary Medical Screening as well as complete a joint session with a licensed mental health professional via an online platform. Upon a live birth, agreed-upon contact information will be released to each party, the donor’s DOB will be released, and all parties will be encouraged to sign up for DCPData, the Donor Sibling Registry, or a similar program.
An unidentified cycle with “ID Release” designation requires an Egg Donor to be willing to share their name, basic contact information, and updated medical history, if requested, to a donor-conceived child at the age of 18. The request for ID Release will be outlined in your Egg Donor Agency Agreement.
In an Unidentified Cycle, Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions will not release contact information, but the Donor Sibling Registry, or a similar program is still required to be included as an acceptable form of communication in your contract.
To learn more, watch this video or visit our website.
The Truth Behind Both Journeys: Information, Support, and Choice Matter
Although egg donation and surrogacy are different experiences, they share a few important truths.
These are meaningful commitments. Both require time, preparation, and a willingness to participate in a process that can affect your schedule, relationships, and daily life.
Support makes a difference. In the podcast, both donors emphasized the value of having supportive partners, family members, and coordinators. For surrogates, a strong support system can be equally important throughout pregnancy and recovery.
Every experience is different. There is no single reason someone becomes an egg donor or surrogate, and no two journeys unfold in exactly the same way. Your circumstances, motivations, preferences, and comfort level deserve consideration.
You deserve to be informed. You should understand the medical process, financial arrangements, legal considerations, and expectations before making a commitment. You should also feel comfortable asking questions when something isn’t clear.
You should have a voice in your decision. Whether you’re exploring egg donation or surrogacy, you deserve to understand your options and make a decision that aligns with your values and circumstances.
At ED&SS, we believe support means more than helping you get started. It means providing clear communication, answering questions, respecting your preferences, and helping you navigate the process with confidence.
Considering Egg Donation or Surrogacy? Start With a Conversation.
It’s completely normal to have questions about egg donation or surrogacy. In fact, asking questions is one of the best ways to determine whether either experience is right for you.
You don’t have to make a decision today, and you don’t need to know everything before reaching out. Start by learning about the process, talking with people who have firsthand experience, and identifying the questions that matter most to you.
At Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions, our team is here to help you explore your options, understand the expectations, and make an informed decision without pressure.
Interested in learning more?
- Considering surrogacy? Explore our Surrogacy Journey & Compensation Guide for more information about the process, compensation, and what to expect.
- Considering egg donation? Explore our Egg Donor Journey & Compensation Guide for more information about the process, compensation, and what to expect.
- Have questions about either journey?
- Schedule a call with our Egg Donor Education Team
- Schedule a call with our Surrogate Education Team
- Email us at donor@createahappyfamily.com or surrogate@createhappyfamily.com
Sometimes, the first step toward clarity is simply having a conversation. We’re here to help you find the answers you need to decide what’s right for you.
