You and your Intended Parents have made it! It is almost Delivery Day & we are so excited for you all. Starting to prepare for this day is very important, especially with surrogacy. Delivery day is a big day for everyone involved, even if the surrogate has already had her own child and knows what to expect that day. Regardless of the level of experience, each surrogate journey is unique to the individuals involved, and this is why open communication is so important right from the very beginning.
Having honest conversations with the Intended Parents and agency about your hopes and wishes for that day is vital. If there are specific privacy wishes for the delivery room, let them know. In many cases, Intended Parents are present for delivery, and then receive separate rooms after the birth. This is all dependent on what you are comfortable with as the surrogate.
With delivery day being such a big moment for IPs meeting their child, you will want to have a discussion about your thoughts for delivery day before the pregnancy. This is helpful as you can make sure you are on the same page and there aren’t obstacles to overcome during delivery, which is already a stressful day.
A few things to keep in mind when planning for birth include: You will want to discuss with the agency and IPs where you plan to deliver. Most of the time surrogates and IPs do not live in the same town or city, which can make this discussion very important. It will allow your IPs to plan ahead, make hotel reservations if necessary, and secure any other needed arrangements for the big day. Hospital protocols vary as well. If possible, it is best to try to plan a labor and delivery tour alongside the Intended Parents. Our experience has shown that many hospitals will accommodate the specific needs of surrogacy. This is great as it will allow you to clear up any confusion with the hospital staff beforehand regarding visitors, who will hold the baby first, and all around making sure everything will run smoothly on delivery day.
One thing that is super important is packing a bag! You will want to do this as quickly as you hit your third trimester. It’s better to be over-prepared, than under-prepared. Having this packed and ready will be one less thing to worry about when the big day arrives.
Here are a few of the best-known “hospital must-haves” to pack:
- Travel-size toiletries
- Toothbrush and toothpaste
- Flip flops
- blanket/ pillow
- Gown or robe
- Book
- iPad/Laptop/Charger
- Brush/comb
- Underwear/socks/bras
- Deodorant
- Hair ties
- Small fan
- Phone charger
- Lip balm
- Post-Partum recovery items and loose clothing
Preparing for after the delivery can be a little trickier, but it’s good to know what to expect. Some surrogates have developed lifelong friendships with their IPs while others leave the hospital shortly after delivery. Again, we suggest you discuss these things with your IPs and agency in the initial preparation discussion.
Planning may seem overwhelming at first, but it will be well worth the effort to guarantee a happy delivery day without unnecessary stress.