One of the most exciting and essential early milestones in any surrogate’s journey is matching with the intended parents. Surrogates and intended parents share a special, emotional, and joyous experience unlike any other over the course of roughly a year. The surrogate-intended parents’ relationship is the key foundation to a successful and happy pregnancy for both parties, so it is imperative to make sure that the match will be a good fit.
During the matching process, open communication is of utmost importance. You’ll want to discuss many facets of your journey with your potential intended parents, including your ideals and expectations both pre-and post-birth. When you feel you are truly ready to match, be sure to consider the following points:
- Chemistry. What was the chemistry like when you first met the intended parents? Many surrogates and intended parents alike express immediate chemistry during the first meeting and gut instincts of simply knowing they had found “the one.” Regardless of your relationship preference, you will be very intertwined in each other’s lives for a significant duration of time and chemistry is not something that can be forced.
- Contract opinions. Although meeting with prospective intended parents does not set anything in stone, you will still want to ask and share your own opinions on the different items that could be addressed in your legal contract. Your contract will cover everything, including “what-if” scenarios, such as multiple births or miscarriages, so it is helpful and recommended to discuss these topics right off the bat to ensure everyone is on the same page before agreeing to a match.
- Ideal relationship. Each surrogate-intended parents’ relationship will be unique. Many surrogates become lifelong friends with their intended parents, while others prefer to treat their surrogacy as more of a business relationship. While no approach to the relationship is right or wrong, it is important that both parties share the same feelings. It is also recommended to discuss the desired post-delivery relationship. Will you want to stay in contact after the baby is born? It is crucial to have these conversations early on in the process to prevent any misunderstandings or hurt feelings later down the road.
Matching with intended parents is the first big step on any surrogate’s path and finding the right match is vital. Working with a surrogacy agency is the best way to guarantee you’re making the perfect match to ensure a smooth, happy, and stress-free experience before, during, and after the pregnancy. If you are ready to begin your surrogacy journey and find your perfect intended parents match, do not hesitate to contact Surrogate Solutions today!
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