Choosing egg donation to grow your family can be exciting, emotional, and overwhelming. There are medical decisions, financial considerations, waiting, and plenty of questions along the way.
We asked intended parents who have been through the process what they would want others to know. Here is their advice.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Do not feel guilty about your emotions. This journey can bring hope, excitement, anxiety, disappointment, grief, and joy.
Needing an egg donor can also bring complicated feelings. Give yourself permission to process them without shame.
“Have and give grace. It is okay to have days where you are mad, sad, and everything in between. It is a hard journey, and it is okay to talk about it.”
Choose Your Team Carefully
Take your time when choosing your agency and clinic. Research your options, talk with multiple agencies, and ask questions about communication, support, and the overall process.
“What helped me the most was interviewing several agencies. Research them, have conversations, ask questions, and find the agency that feels right for you.”
Finding a team you trust can make a tremendous difference throughout the journey.
“I don’t like saying ‘trust the process,’ but when you find the right one, know that they have your best interest.”
For many intended parents, finding the right agency is about more than services. It is about finding people who communicate, answer questions, and make you feel supported throughout the process.
Be Patient
The process may take longer than you expect. Delays with testing, scheduling, donors, medications, clinics, and paperwork are possible.
This is a marathon, not a race.
Try not to create a strict timeline. Take things one step at a time.
“Do not get wrapped up in timelines because they are not always controllable. Let go of some of that control and focus on the next step.”
Ask Questions
If you do not understand something, ask.
Ask your agency. Ask your clinic. Ask about timelines, medications, testing, paperwork, and costs.
There are no stupid questions, and you deserve to understand every step of your journey.
Advocate for Yourself
Stay organized and keep track of what needs to be completed. Know who your main contact is at the clinic and follow up when you need answers.
Trust your team, but stay involved in your care.
Understand the Financials
Several intended parents recommended having detailed conversations about finances before moving forward.
Ask what is included in your estimate, what is not included, when payments are due, and what additional costs could arise.
Being financially prepared can help reduce stress later.
Do Your Research
Take your time when choosing your agency, clinic, and donor.
Talk with multiple agencies, research your clinic, and ask questions about success rates and the process.
When choosing a donor, look beyond a profile. Think about the person behind the information and who feels like the right fit for your family.
“Remember that your donor is a human being. Always stay focused on the next thing.”
Find Resources That Help You Feel Prepared
Education can make the process feel less overwhelming. Read, listen, ask questions, and find resources that help you understand what to expect.
One intended parent specifically shared how helpful fertility podcasts were during her journey, including the Create A Happy Family Podcast.
“The podcast was very helpful. Whitney’s laugh is infectious, and all of these podcasts really helped me.”
Sometimes hearing from people who have walked through the process can help you feel a little less alone.
Take Care of Your Mental Health
This journey can be a lot emotionally. Counseling can be helpful, even if you are not currently struggling.
Lean on your partner, trusted friends, family, or others who have experienced donor egg IVF. Give yourself permission to have hard days.
“This process is overwhelming because you are asked to make so many decisions. Give yourself grace, allow yourself to be exhausted, rest, and be present.”
You do not have to have everything figured out at once.
Trust the Process, But Do Not Be Afraid to Speak Up
You may not be able to control every part of the journey, but you can control how prepared and informed you are.
Trust your team. Ask questions. Advocate for yourself. Give yourself grace.
Most importantly, hold on to hope.
Your journey may not look exactly how you imagined it, but that does not mean your dream of becoming a parent is out of reach.
Considering Egg Donation?
Our team is here to answer your questions, explain the process, and help you take the next step toward growing your family.
Learn more about our egg donor program and get started today.
