Many intended parents want to express their gratitude to their surrogate throughout the journey. While the most valuable gift you can offer is a supportive and respectful relationship, there are also thoughtful ways to acknowledge and celebrate your surrogate. Each surrogate has unique preferences and needs that you’ll come to know over time. However, if you’re looking for inspiration, this guide offers gift ideas based on different milestones, as well as suggestions for special occasions and holidays—including ways to include the surrogate’s children!
Please remember that surrogates do not expect gifts from intended parents. These are entirely optional but can be a meaningful way to show appreciation.
Milestone One: Embryo Transfer
During the embryo transfer stage, you are still developing your relationship with your surrogate. This is a great time to show your appreciation with gifts that bring comfort during the process.
- Simply picking up & taking to/ from the airport with their companion is a great gesture to start.
- If your surrogate is traveling for the procedure, consider sending flowers or a sweet treat to her hotel.
- If you are attending the transfer together, a post-procedure meal is a great way to connect and show appreciation.
- Snack baskets from retailers like Amazon, Costco, or a local grocery store make thoughtful gifts. You can also personalize one with her favorite sweet and salty treats.
- Cozy gifts such as throw blankets, warm pajamas, robes, fuzzy socks, slippers, or herbal teas can help her feel comfortable.
- A heartfelt, handwritten card expressing your gratitude is a meaningful and personal touch.
Milestone Two: Visits & Check-ins
Visits—whether in person or virtual—are wonderful opportunities to strengthen your connection with your surrogate and show appreciation.
- If you’re able to visit in person, consider treating her (and her family, if possible) to a meal at a favorite restaurant or a new spot she’s been wanting to try.
- If an in-person visit isn’t feasible, a gift card to a local restaurant or a food delivery service like UberEats, Grubhub, or DoorDash allows you to share a virtual meal together.
- By this stage, you likely know more about her interests, allowing you to personalize gifts. Custom gifts from Uncommon Goods or Etsy, such as journals, T-shirts, mugs, socks with her pet’s image, or a custom family portrait, can be meaningful.
- Consider sending a piece of your home—specialty snacks, souvenirs, or unique items from your city.
- Belly balm and other pregnancy-safe self-care items can be thoughtful and useful.
- A classic box of chocolates is always a great option!
- Everyone has their unique ways of showing appreciation, but most GC’s will always value the handwritten cards or notes the most.
Milestone Three: Delivery
The birth of your child is a momentous occasion, and it’s a wonderful time to express your deep appreciation for your surrogate’s incredible gift.
- A necklace or bracelet featuring the baby’s birthstone or birth flower is a sentimental keepsake she can cherish.
- Flowers can brighten up her hospital room—bonus points if you choose her favorite blooms!
- If she’s abstained from certain indulgences during pregnancy, consider gifting a bottle of wine, a favorite craft beer, or high-quality coffee beans to enjoy postpartum.
- A restaurant gift card for a future date night can give her something special to look forward to.
- A handwritten letter reflecting on the journey and expressing your heartfelt gratitude can be a meaningful way to mark this milestone.
Many intended parents choose to send gifts to their surrogate during the holiday season. Cookies, hot chocolate bombs, a box of chocolates, or pints of festive ice cream flavors are simple things that surrogates will love receiving! You can also consider gifting a family-friendly gift, like a board game, a membership for an activity (the zoo, aquarium, amusement park), or a subscription to a cooking service (like Hello Fresh or Blue Apron).
Sending a gift for your surrogate’s kid(s) is a nice way to show your surrogate how much you care about her and her family. Depending on the age and interests of her kid(s), you might consider gifting a storybook, a toy, arts and craft supplies, a souvenir from your city, a stuffed animal or squishmallow, or even seasonal gifts like an advent calendar or a back-to-school gift!
Special Occasions, Holidays & Gifts for Her Children
- Holiday Season: A simple yet heartfelt holiday gift could include festive treats like cookies, hot chocolate bombs, a box of gourmet chocolates, or seasonal ice cream flavors. Family-friendly gifts such as a board game, a membership to a local attraction (zoo, aquarium, amusement park), or a meal subscription service (like Hello Fresh or Blue Apron) are also great ideas.
- Gifts for Her Children: Including the surrogate’s children in your appreciation can mean a lot. Depending on their age and interests, you might choose a storybook, a fun toy, arts and crafts supplies, a keepsake from your city, a stuffed animal, or seasonal gifts like an advent calendar or a back-to-school package.
Continuing Gifts After Birth
The bond with your surrogate doesn’t have to end after the baby is born. Many intended parents choose to continue celebrating their surrogate in meaningful ways:
- Birthdays: Sending a birthday card, flowers, or a small thoughtful gift can be a great way to stay connected and show ongoing appreciation.
- Holidays: A simple holiday card or a small token of appreciation (like homemade treats, a candle, or a festive ornament) can keep the connection alive.
- Child’s Milestones: Some parents share occasional updates on the child’s milestones, such as a holiday photo or a first birthday card, to acknowledge the surrogate’s role in making those moments possible.
- Anniversaries: Recognizing the anniversary of the transfer or birth with a simple message or gift can be a thoughtful gesture.
Maintaining a thoughtful connection, even in small ways, can continue to show gratitude and honor the special relationship shared through the surrogacy journey.
Ultimately, the most meaningful gift you can offer is your respect, support, and gratitude. Whether you choose to give physical gifts or simply maintain a warm, caring connection, your surrogate will appreciate the thoughtfulness behind your gestures.
Furthermore, contact your coordinator for great ideas as they know your surrogate on a personal level or utilize facebook page to ask other IPs for more ideas!