“Choosing to continue moving forward in a fertility journey is brave,” says Blair, a first-time intended parent (IP).
Blair’s story is certainly one of bravery, as well as kindness and compassion. As a labor and delivery nurse, she has spent 13 years helping parents bring their children into the world while silently navigating the ups and downs of infertility in her personal life. Over the past few years, Blair has experienced three miscarriages, two ectopic pregnancies and a failed embryo transfer with her first IVF cycle. Yet through her relationship with God and support from her husband, she has found the strength and bravery to keep moving forward time and time again. Now, she is happily pregnant and excited for the day when she gets to meet her son for the first time.
“It’s a beautiful thing to be a labor and delivery nurse. Getting to watch first time parents who truly love each other is magical,” Blair says. “And now my husband and I have the opportunity to experience the joy of parenthood because of egg donation.”
Praying for her donor After deciding to pursue egg donation for her second IVF cycle, Blair was referred to Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions by her physician at Dallas IVF. She was prepared for it to take a while to find the right donor; however, one donor clearly stood out to her, and she was matched within a week.
What was the connection that drew her to the donor?
“I came across a photo of a beautiful young lady holding her Goldendoodle named Winston, and I’d had a Boston Terrier named Winston, who we lost right after the first ectopic pregnancy,” Blair explains. “After we lost Winston, we also got a Goldendoodle. It felt like an immediate connection.”
After exploring her profile further, other similarities between Blair and her donor stood out. They both had donated their hair through Locks of Love to provide wigs for children with cancer. They are both very close to their families and share a similar approach to life by leading with kindness and always looking for the best in others.
“I could tell that she is a beautiful person not only on the outside but also on the inside, and she truly wanted to help a family and was doing this for the right reasons,” Blair says. “Growing up I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I prayed that I would meet the right person and have a big family. When I came across our donor, I realized that I had been praying for her all along, unbeknownst as to what was going to happen to me later in life
[with infertility]. It’s incredible to be connected to someone you’ve never met who is willing to do something so selfless to help you have a family.”
Mental health and infertility With the hope of helping others who are experiencing infertility, Blair shares how she struggled with depression at times during her journey. She credits her husband for recognizing the signs and ensuring she received the support she needed. During her first ectopic pregnancy, Blair’s husband described her struggles to her doctor and asked for a referral to a counselor.
“He said, ‘We need to get some help for my wife. I’ve watched her change from a person who is always glass half full to some days not wanting to get out of bed,’” Blair recalls. “He stood up for my mental health when I was at my most vulnerable and has been my rock throughout this journey. Infertility is hard on a marriage, but we’ve navigated it together and grown stronger as a couple.”
Blair encourages other IPs to recognize the difficult emotions that often come with infertility and to deal with them head on.
“This is a long journey, and you have to find grace within yourself in order to move forward,” Blair says. “There will be times when you are mad and sad and want to quit, and that’s ok. Know that your feelings are valid and normal, and it’s important to work through them.”
Sharing her story Blair recalls a time when she didn’t talk about infertility with anyone. Now, she’s opening up about her experience of becoming a parent through egg donation to provide hope for other IPs and let them know they are not alone.
“At first, I wasn’t sure if I would tell anyone [about egg donation]. I was ashamed that my body wasn’t doing what women’s bodies are supposed to do,” she says. “Now, I share my journey with family, friends and colleagues, who have all been supportive and are excited for us. I’m so proud of how far we’ve come and where we are now. If I can help one person by sharing my story to inspire them to continue their own journey, that’s my goal, to make a difference in someone else’s life.”
Focused on the future Blair’s son is due in January, and she cannot wait for the moment when she gets to officially welcome him to the world.
“I’m so excited to see my baby for the first time and experience that moment with my husband as a first-time parent,” she says. “I want to let our child know that he is already loved by so many people.”
She adds, “There was a time when I didn’t think I would get to be a mom, and now I do because of our donor. We have eight frozen embryos, so we also have the opportunity to grow our family in the future and for our children to be full siblings. I’m thankful for every donor who is willing to help a family in this way.”
In offering one final piece of advice for other IPs, Blair says, “Hold onto hope, give yourself grace and continue to be brave. Know that your time is coming, too.”
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