If you are reading this, you might be someone who feels called to do something extraordinary with her life. You might be thinking about carrying a child for someone who is waiting with hope in both hands. If so, thank you for even considering it. My name is Kim, my husband is Jarrod, and we live in Austin, Texas. We are two people who adore each other, adore our life, and are simply missing one thing. A little person to adore right along with us. 

I am a fourth grade teacher, the kind who genuinely loves teaching Reading, Writing, and Social Studies and gets excited about new classroom bulletin boards. I am also a published poet working on a second collection titled Secondhand Stradivarius and a YA novel called Diary of an Incurable Optimist. I sing, play five instruments, decorate cakes, read obsessively, and have a home library that makes me feel like Belle every time I walk into it. I am a word nerd through and through. 

Jarrod is a computer programmer who loves math, video games, and every Muppet movie ever made. We are both major fans of Law and Order: SVU. We love doing powerlifting together and growing a garden in our yard. We eat all kinds of food, and when we go out for celebrations we love Chez Zee because it is fancy-ish without being uppity. And yes, we have watched Muppet Christmas Carol on my birthday in July. Zero regrets. 

We have two cats, Oscar and Lilo. Oscar looks like a tiger in miniature and Lilo is a tuxedo kitty. They run our house. We simply pay the mortgage. 

Our home is playful and warm. We are mature, but we still love being silly. Through infertility, we have become stronger instead of strained. We communicate openly and often. I am very proud of that and I know it will shape the kind of parents we become. 

My own story began with something beautiful. I was adopted as an infant in 1978. My parents never hid it or made it dramatic. They framed it proudly and lovingly. My brother is adopted too, and we grew up believing our family was extra special because of how it was made. That has shaped how I see our own future family. I already picture telling our child the truth in a joyful way. They will know that one woman generously donated cells to help them be created and another incredible woman carried them and kept them safe until they were ready to arrive. 

We want our child to have a beautiful life. We live comfortably and will make sure they never want for anything while also teaching them appreciation and work ethic. I am 47, which is one of the reasons we are not using my eggs. I would never want to set a child up for a life of ongoing physical struggle if there were safer options. We also did genetic testing to help ensure the healthiest path. We do not need a perfect baby. We simply want a child to love with every ounce of who we are. 

There is a line from Friends where Monica is described as a mama without a baby. I have felt that for as long as I can remember. Being a mother will be the greatest accomplishment of my life. I have waited with so much hope. We love each other deeply, we adore our families, and we are ready for our little person to join us. 

I lost my dad to cancer last year. He will never hold my baby this side of heaven. I wrote this poem about him and about this child who already means everything to me. I want to share it with you because it captures exactly how I feel. 

Posterity 

Dad knew he was never going to hold my baby
this side of heaven. 

He started saying goodbye last July. 

I talked about hope and my plan
to have a child via surrogacy that
Would be void of my genetics but
hopefully, through intention and nurture,
Inherit my lexophilic tendencies and my heart. 

He talked about the first time he held me when
I was already a month old, how he wanted to take out
the doctor that made fun of the IV
In my head when I was hospitalized with
meningitis at three months old, and how he never
thought of me as anything but his. 

I like to think he’s holding her now, telling her
How loved she already is and how she
Has been her mama’s most audacious hope
And her boldest dream her whole life. Calling her
Toots like he did with me when we used to
Run errands together in the old Pinto that was
70’s orange with the smooth wood paneled sides.
Dancing with her to the Temptations, and
Showing her the plush Snoopy he left for her
Earthside when he flew up to heaven and
The red birds that will always be a reminder
Of his promise. 

Thank you for reading all of this. Thank you for even thinking about helping a family like ours. If you choose to walk beside us on this journey, you will always be honored in our home. You will always be part of our child’s story. And you will always be part of the greatest gift we will ever receive.