For Roy and Zane, the path to parenthood was not a straight line, but it was one paved with trust and intention.
When Roy looks back on their surrogacy journey, three emotions rise to the surface: relief, happiness, and deep gratitude. Relief that their baby, their gestational carrier, and everyone involved arrived safely at the finish line. Happiness for the new life who has brought immeasurable warmth into their family. And gratitude, for their gestational carrier, their medical team, and the technology that made something once impossible feel miraculously real.
The Day Everything Changed
The day their baby was born is etched into Roy’s memory in vivid detail. The first moment they held him brought a wave of emotion that words can barely capture, a culmination of more than a year of hope and sacrifice. It was also a moment of profound admiration for their gestational carrier, whose strength and selflessness carried them all the way through delivery.
And like many birth stories, there was a lesson tucked inside the waiting. Despite expectations that labor would be quick, their baby took his time. Roy and Zane learned to release control, trusting both their surrogate’s body and their baby to set the pace. It was an early reminder of parenthood’s first truth: patience is everything.
Becoming Parents, Right on Time
Before their son was born, Roy and Zane had a quiet concern shared by many parents through surrogacy: Would we have the same instincts if we didn’t carry the pregnancy ourselves?
Those worries vanished the instant they held their baby.
Parental instincts arrived fully formed and undeniable. Early parenthood has been emotionally fulfilling and deeply affirming. Proof that love, not biology, is what prepares you to be a parent. In fact, Roy reflects that the intentionality and emotional investment required throughout the surrogacy process may have prepared them exceptionally well for this role.
A First Christmas, Made Real
One milestone stands out above the rest: their baby’s first Christmas.
For Roy and Zane, surrogacy sometimes felt abstract to others, even to family. But that holiday changed everything. Holding their baby, together, surrounded by loved ones, transformed the journey into something tangible and undeniable. Seeing family members shower their son with love made the entire experience real in a way nothing else could.
A Personality All His Own
Now, their baby’s personality is beginning to shine. He recognizes their voices, coos back at them, and has mastered smiling and laughing, especially when tickled under the arms, which reliably produces the sweetest giggles. Like many new parents, Roy and Zane have already discovered a few “hacks,” including one favorite trick: gently blowing air on his face when he cries, instantly causing him into calm.
Gratitude That Lasts a Lifetime
If Roy could say one thing to their gestational carrier now that their baby is home, it would be this: You are family.
She is, in his words, one of the most selfless and beautiful souls they have ever met. Their gratitude for the life she helped bring into the world is eternal.
One particularly meaningful moment came even before birth, when their gestational carrier attended their baby shower virtually. Though she lived in another state, Roy and Zane FaceTimed her in so she could meet friends and family, share her story, and talk about the baby’s personality in the womb. That moment brought their journey to life, not just for them, but for everyone witnessing it.
Carrying the Story Forward
Roy and Zane remain in touch with their surrogate, sharing updates, milestones, and plans for future visits. One day, they plan to share their own story with their son through children’s books that celebrate all the different ways families are made. Their hope is simple: that he grows up knowing his story is beautiful and free of stigma.
Advice for Those Just Beginning
For anyone starting the surrogacy process, Roy offers gentle wisdom: take it one step at a time. What feels overwhelming at the beginning becomes manageable when broken down into small, clear next steps. Trust your team. Ask what truly needs your focus, and let the rest unfold.
One Year Later
A year later, what Roy is most grateful for is beautifully simple: a healthy, happy baby, and a seamless journey that brought him home. Their story is a reminder that families are built not just through biology, but through courage.
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Want to learn more? In this episode of the Create A Happy Family Podcast, Monroe shares what he learned the hard way after completing two very different surrogacy journeys, including the advice he wishes he had earlier and what truly made the biggest difference the second time.
